Time to Ponder

Tonight, after laying Talmage down for bed, he began to cry. This isn't unusual. About 90% of the time, he'll cry for about a minute or two and then go to sleep. But this time he cryed for a little bit longer. Now, usually I let him cry until a little longer and then check to make sure he's ok and doesn't have a messy diaper. But tonight, I just felt tired and didn't feel like getting him up and then having to put him back down.

Then, I had a thought. Actually a few thoughts. I thought, why don't I just go in and rock him to sleep. When was the last time I rocked my baby to sleep? Afterall, he is a baby and maybe he needs to be nurtured just a little bit more before he goes to sleep. So, I did just that. I rocked him to sleep.

As I watched him fall asleep, I started thinking about how fast time flies by. I need to savor the moments NOW because they are just going to pass by.

Lately, I've been constantly wanting him to crawl. I think I've almost secretly inside myself made it a competition with my other friends who have babies. I just keep thinking well, "they are only 6 months and they can crawl so he needs to crawl too." I feel horrible about ever thinking that now. I need to cherish the moments he doesn't crawl, the moments he can't walk or talk.

Sometimes it seems like I am in such a hurry to get him to take his next nap...and for what?? To mop the floors?? To check my email?? What am I thinking? That's not the reason I had a baby...to have him take naps.

I guess I am just having a reality check with myself. I'm always thinking ahead and wanting things to change. I know that when we have another baby, Talmage won't be the baby anymore. That makes me sad. I want him to be my baby forever.

Anyways, sorry for the long post and my ramblings. I just had these thoughts tonight that made me stop and think.